Of course, by now news has broken about the secret agent fly planted on the Vice President’s head during debate day, October 7th, 2020.
It’s a clear attack to Mike Pence’s hairstyle — however, it’s a far better demonstration of the failure of the crooked Democrats to bring down such a righteous man.
During Pence’s elaboration on how pro-lifedness, a fly stumbled across his hair. For nearly ten minutes, this little fly didn’t move. Under normal fly behavior, it would have obviously flown away with instantaneous propulsion as it landed. Clearly, this was the workings of the other side of the aisle attempting to play dirty politics and perform mind-control.
There was no other motivation for that fly to be on camera today.
But a shock came to the world as Pence stayed true to his word — and true to his pro-life stance.
That fly’s life was never in danger. A news report I made up in my mind just two seconds ago also confirms that this fly was pregnant — all adding to the Vice President’s model character.
Some may say Pence has homophobic, backward tendencies that fail to translate to the larger progressive American values in society today. Well, that’s all nonsense, obviously, because Mike Pence would never hurt a fly — even though he wouldn’t let you have an abortion (even though you were raped, forced to carry to term, or had your free-will taken away for arbitrary reasons set up by old white men).
Even as we concoct new stories about how American society crumbled around the failings of a federal government’s handling of a pandemic within our borders, we can say solidly that Pence is a man with a mission (which nobody seems to understand, including himself).
And that mission, ladies and gentleman, lingers around the theme that a fly made the headlines before anything else Pence said when he opened his mouth on this very night.
A man whose skull has only hardened over the years.