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My New Instagram Handle is WarrenBuffetInvestor — Wait Until I Sell you on the Newest Investment Advice I have no Business Giving

And it’ll only cost you $9.99 a month to see and hear my stupid thoughts

I’m back, baby.

No, I’m not talking about my last Instagram handle with the picture of Eminem as my profile photo. That Instagram account was banned because I wasn’t allowed to sell alcohol in Turkey. It was a rookie move, mostly because I didn’t know I could get in trouble for repackaging Ketel One Vodka with my own logo.

Anyway, that’s all sorted out. The stock market is where I will thrive.

Once I take a look at these graphs, I’ll be able to talk to you about the signals and quotes that some investors said out of context.

Two negatives equal a positive.

Okay, so you followed the last move I sent you and the stock fell, right? No big deal, don’t sweat. Your money is safe. You lost $5,000, but, remember, the stock’s chances of going either up or down is 50%. And that’s just statistics I made up in my head last week.

The more you lose, the better the odds of your next move.

Gambler’s fallacy.